Introduction
We present an informal study on the sexual attitudes of Edinburgh residents to cubes of boron. Boron is a metalloid element of the periodic table with atomic number 5. It is not known in the literature as being attractive to humans.
Method
A randomized sample group drawn from primarily Edinburgh University students, and other residents of central Edinburgh, were selected and given the following prompt. The study began on September 27th, 2023, and continues to this day.
You are on a date, with a person you really like. They say, 'Would you like to come back to mine?' You say yes, and you go back to their house, and you take your shoes off, and you're really excited because you know what's about to happen next, but they say 'Stop. Before anything else, I need to show you something.' They take you to their living room and they show you what's on top of their mantlepiece, which is a one by one by one inch cube of solid, pure, elemental boron. Are you more or less attracted to this person?
Only binary responses were accepted.
Results
Figure 2: Results of the survey
| Response | Count | Percentage |
|---|---|---|
| More | 259 | 84% |
| Less | 49 | 16% |
| Total | 308 |
Figure 3: Graphical results of the survey
Last updated: 21:02, June 4th, 2026
Limitations
Formal demographic data was not kept due to the fact that the authors of this study did not consider its relevance in the early stages of the project. We felt that retroactively adding the demographic data would be unreliable and more work than was prudent for this informal study.
Participants who gave no answer, or did not choose one of the options were not considered in the data. We note that this only reflects a very small number of participants, and the vast majority responded according to the metrics of the study.
Discussion
The data reveals that roughly 7/8 of respondents found a boron cube to increase their attraction to their potential partner. This result is quite unusual, as conventional wisdom suggests that the average person does not find small cubes of metalloids to be particularly arousing.
It is possible that the sample was biased, as it contained primarily highly-educated university students. However, several participants who responded 'less' were also in the same demographic group, and anecdotal evidence suggests that people who were not as highly-educated were roughly equally likely to respond 'more'.
Follow-up study
Cubes of wood were also acquired of the same dimensions as the boron cube. They were spray-painted to a similar colour as a real boron cube. Participants had a negative reaction to the wooden cube. Writing 'B' on the wooden cube with a permanent marker did not significantly change the outcome.
Acquiring a real boron cube to practically test the theory would be prohibitively expensive, as the average price for a cube of the required dimensions is out of budget for this study. An extraction using borax was considered, but considered unfeasible due to the authors' lack of access to a crucible or a mould capable of withstanding the melting point of boron.
Conclusions
Bitches love boron? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
